I don’t know. I have no idea where to go or what to do. It’s a weird feeling. I’ve always kind of known the next step for my life. Sure, China kind of came out of left field, but, that’s kind of what I’m hoping to happen again. Who else doesn’t know what to do next? In this season of life, or the next, what are you going to do? What do you want to do?
In case you’ve missed it, I’ve been doing a challenge called #MY31PRAYERS. It’s gotten a lot of traffic; more than I expected, honestly. It’s been amazing to see read people’s stories and feelings towards God. I’ve been hoping that this will give me some guidance, as I read, write, and pray every day, that I’ll have something that just hits me over the head telling me what to do next. It’s almost been a week, and it hasn’t happened yet.
In Matthew, we are given a great story of some people who actually knew what they were going to do with their life. They knew what their life was going to look like, until a rabbi from Nazareth came and turned their world upside down.
I’m going to paraphrase a little bit to save some time.
In chapter 4, Peter and Andrew are fishing in their boat. The are fishermen. Jesus walks by and simply says ‘Hey, come with me and you can be a fisher of men’.
Right off the bat, that’s a pretty wacky thing to say. I mean, here comes this rabbi, the best, of the best, of the best from his Jewish school. He knew the Torah, he knew the prophets, he knew everything there was to know.
Peter and Andrew, weren’t the best of the best. They were fishermen. They probably knew the Torah – most all of the men did. For a rabbi to call you out to follow him was huge. Whether they knew he was a rabbi and followed him, or just followed him because they wanted more clarity about the wacky thing he had just said to them, we don’t know. But they followed him and their life was forever changed.
And then, just a little bit up the coast, Jesus sees two more brothers fixing their nets. They were fishermen too. James and John. Their father, Zebedee, was with them too. Jesus does the same thing. Calls out to them and they just follow him. Immediately. Can you even imagine the look on ‘ole Zeb’s face? Seeing his two sons walk off with this rabbi? There goes the family business. But, their life was forever changed because of it.
There was some controversy a few years back about an old Jewish saying that was going around the internet. It was translated from Mishnah. If you don’t know what the Mishnah is, it’s a collection of rabbinic words that spans about 400 years (200 BC – 200 AD). With that said, the passage that caused so much controversy was from Avot 1:4. You can look it up if you’re interested, but the saying came to be “may you be covered in the dust of your rabbi”. Whether you believe this is an accurate translation or not isn’t my intention in bringing it up. The intention is that it can be something that should be practiced. To be so close to our rabbi that we be covered in the dust that his shoes kick up from the ground. How close would we have to be?
I’m not that close many times. In fact, sometimes, I walk the complete opposite direction. And maybe, that’s my problem. I said earlier that I have no idea where to go or what to do from here. Maybe I need to be covered in the dust or my rabbi. Instead of waiting for something to come by and hit me in the head, I should just walk in the same direction as he is.
It’s not easy, still. If this blog speaks to you, I ask that you check out #MY31PRAYERS and see the words of people, just like us, going through a similar struggle of sticking close behind our rabbi.
Breathe in. Breathe out.